Mom,
It's been less than 2 months since you left me so suddenly. I find myself struggling day to day to hold back tears as I am forced to go on with my life. Wedding planning has not been fun. It's hard to plan such a big event when you are in the middle of grieving. At times, I wish that we could push everything back. I'm just not into it, and I don't know what to do. Some people just don't understand. Work helps, it helps A LOT. I used to call you as I drove home from work, and that's something that I already miss dearly. At times I feel as though maybe this is all in my head. Could my Mom really be gone? How could this happen right before my wedding? I'm so sad that you won't be there to watch me marry Jared, especially since I know how much you loved him. It breaks my heart that you will never meet your grandchildren. It seems unreal to me that I will never hear your voice again or be able to give you a hug. I feel horrible that you were so sad and alone. I wish there was something that I could have done, but we both know that I did all that I could, and unfortunately it wasn't enough. I feel guilty at times. What if I would have called you more? What if I had just moved home to be with you? Could I really have saved you? Probably not. I prayed and prayed for God to give you the strength to overcome your struggles, but I guess he had a different plan. I'm thankful that you are with Him, and that you are no longer hurting.......but now I am hurting. I wish I could have been able to say goodbye. I just hope that you know how much I love you, and that I will miss you every day for the rest of my life.
Love always,
Sis
P.S. Please watch over Parker.
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